all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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