what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
as a side note pls kill me
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
