His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
