I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize