smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
