Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
