I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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