Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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