from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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