Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
