M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
