Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
