They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
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