its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
