Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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