Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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