Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
