never play flip cup with pint glasses
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
