She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Go christen that room with your naked body.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
