Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
