you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
