is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
