It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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