I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
