I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
