her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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