If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
