ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
