So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
