all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
the raccoons are back...
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