Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize