Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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