why didn't you poke me back
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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