Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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