I wish I could punch you in the face.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
