You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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