Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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