I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
