I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
