Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
