drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize