Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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