I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
