god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
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