hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
