Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
This is the high leading the old right now
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
