sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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