she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
