Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
