Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
