Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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