She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
