Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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