Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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