this boner is exhausting
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
