didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
