The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
