What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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