my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
