If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
