She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
