I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
